Mosquito Mole Multiworks

I would like to propose a new term to describe a subset of programmers: BigMac Programmers. This term is reserved for those programmers intent on applying copious amounts of special sauce on their work. Examples of this special sauce include exotic caching strategies, esoteric firewall rules, custom database connection pooling and in general anything that has more lines of code then days in production without an error. Alternately stated, special sauce is anything that could be replaced with an highly downloaded alternative in less time then it takes to describe how bad the special sauce really is.

BigMac programmers should be avoided at all times as they will bring a cardiac arrest to your project. If you must work with a BigMac programmer or cleanup after them, bring boots; for a BigMac programmer has likely produced a large amount of excrement as they’ve gorged themselves implementing every search result Google provides for their particular problem at hand.

Some reports suggest BigMac programmers can be converted but these claims have never been substantiated. It is therefore suggested BigMac programmers be fired and other programmers alerted to their presence. To alert others it is recommend to provide the BigMac Programmer a certificate noting their BigMac Programmer status. They will think it’s in recognition of their advanced skills and post it proudly on their wall while in truth it’s an early warning system for others in the area.